i'm Not a hater...honest!

Holy crap, is it September already?  As you may or may not know, I missed last month’s article.  I get busy, it happens.  Actually, seeing that I am covering for my project manager while she is on vacation in Spain, I am surprised I even had the time to fill your lives with my opinions this month.  But I do, so I will… 

This summer has really been a let down; with the crappy weather in Vancouver; the huge oil spill just up the street, across the road and down the freeway from work; the unwavering construction slowing down my daily commute to a crawl; and constant bombardment of worldwide tragedies on the news reminding me of just how insignificant my problems really are (not being able to complain is something I hate most).  Seriously, the only things that have not been a disappointment this summer are the movies I have seen lately (Superbad was freakin’ awesome!) and the music I have purchased. 

In all fairness I have only purchased two new albums this summer and they were both by artists I thoroughly enjoy.  I am happy to say that both T.I. and Common have not disappointed; and I am hoping to continue my good fortune with Kanye’s new release Graduation, set to drop in early September. 

Now that I have made it through all the required portions of this article, I think I will drop some knowledge on you… 

When is it acceptable to be a hater?  Well first I guess I should define the word “hater” for you. 

Hater [heyt’er], - Related forms, hate, hat - ing, hat - or - aide  

- noun

1. A person who generally or passionately dislikes the accomplishments or achievements of another, whether related or unrelated to their life.

2. A person who constantly expresses a deep-rooted sense of repugnance for, or complete rejection of, anyone’s ideas or likes. 

So is it ever okay to hate?  It is when hating is the only truth, but I warn you, it must be irrefutable truth otherwise you just end up being a “dumb ass hater.”  This is much worse than just being a hater.  So how can you be sure that what you are hating on is the truth?  I recommend sticking to the blatantly obvious - for example, you know OJ did it, I know OJ did it, and OJ obviously knows he did it; so is it ever wrong to hate on OJ? Hell no! It is always open season on OJ. 

However, hating on celebrities can be a hit or miss subject.  For example, you’re almost always guaranteed to get a hater-pass when referring to Paris Hilton; but even Jay Leno caught flack for taking it a bit too far during her infamous jail stint this summer.  The same can be said for Tyra Banks; sure it was funny to most of us to see her looking “normal” on the beach earlier this year, but when she scared the viewing public with her rant on national TV, it suddenly became… less funny. 

To be safe, I would stick to hating on those celebrities who are obviously completely detached from reality.  Take Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt for example; two people with no discernable talent who somehow clawed their way onto television and into the history books as one of Reality TV’s worst couples. And now, probably just to annoy me, they have now released a single together.  I have heard this appalling piece of tripe and consider it one of the worst things to happen in music, ever.  The thing I am failing to understand is how David Foster, one of the most successful producers alive, could have ever lent his name and talents to this song.  The single is called Body Language, the production is done very well, the singing isn’t that bad; but the lyrics, well they make me want to remove my eardrums with a chainsaw. [Editor’s note: I completely condone this thrashing of Heidi and Spencer, and would like to add that implants do not beget talent.] 

And Spencer’s rap?  Well, let me put it this way.  I once said that in the world of people who should never step into the booth and rap, Kevin Federline wore the crown; but there is a new king in town.  All hail Spencer Pratt. 
peace

Peep the July lesson!